Things You Should Never Say to a Teacher

This week has been pretty hectic. Everything was a blur of math equations, stress, BBQ ribs, and chamber music. (And I’m pretty sure the living room in our dorm causes illnesses. It smells like sawdust, and I got a fever after sitting in there for 3 hours. Seems legit.)

I miss the high school days. For you high school students out there, you are extremely lucky right now. Your grades aren’t solely determined by 2 midterms and a final, you have family to chill with on weekends, and you’re living the best 4 years of your life*.

*Note: There are exceptions.


When I look back, a dozen things pop into my head on what I should have done, what I could have done, and what I would have done if given the chance to relive high school all over again. Instead of boring you with a laundry list of my goals and regrets, here are some phrases you should not say to your high school teacher.

(Some of these I thought up, and some of these were actually spoken by a student to a teacher.)

  1. “Of course this material is easy for the guy who dedicated his entire career to teaching it.”
  2. “It’s not like we need to know this in real life.”
  3. “People are starving in Africa, and we’re analyzing the iambic pentameter of Shakespeare?”
  4. “I didn’t mean anything I wrote in that essay, actually.”
  5. “Uh, I think I deserve a higher grade.”
  6. “You misspelled a word.”
  7. “My poor grade reflects your inability to teach, not my ability to learn.”
  8. “Hey dawg, how’s it going?” (Note: some hip teachers actually prefer being called Dawg, particularly if their first name is Doug.)
  9. “You’re only 30? Wow, I thought you were a grandmother.”
  10. “I need this recommendation letter by tomorrow. Thanks!”

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