Let’s pause briefly and think about the number of holidays Americans celebrate. Which ones are simply excuses to engulf copious amounts of candy?
New Year’s – Fireworks, streamers, and a bucket load of wine. Mostly NC17 rated.
Valentine’s Day – Chocolates, candy grams, chocolate teddy bears, chocolate roses… Chocolate is romantic, but I prefer a beef steak with asparagus.
St. Patrick’s Day – Green four-leaf clovers, “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirts, giant glittery green hats. (Say that 5 times fast)
April Fool’s Day – No candy here. Although, I would watch your food if I were you.
Easter – Chocolate eggs and bunnies are what the kids will adore.
Memorial Day – No candy here. A solemn holiday in remembrance of the brave and courageous.
July 4th – Fireworks, streamers, and a bucket load of ice. (Wait, this sounds familiar.)
Labor Day – Don’t wear white? Or was it only on the Monday after? Oh, who knows. (Read the official explanation here.)
Columbus Day – No school is all we care about.
Halloween – Candy galore. Watch out for the Laffy Taffy, please.
Thanksgiving – Not really much candy here, but plenty of extra-sweet cranberry sauce.
Christmas – Gingerbread houses, frosting, and candy canes.
That’s only 4 out of 12! Not bad, actually. Besides, a little candy never hurts. (On the topic of ice breaking at gatherings, poet Ogden Nash writes, Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.)