Happy Candy Day?

Let’s pause briefly and think about the number of holidays Americans celebrate. Which ones are simply excuses to engulf copious amounts of candy?

New Year’s – Fireworks, streamers, and a bucket load of wine. Mostly NC17 rated.

Valentine’s Day – Chocolates, candy grams, chocolate teddy bears, chocolate roses… Chocolate is romantic, but I prefer a beef steak with asparagus.

St. Patrick’s Day – Green four-leaf clovers, “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirts, giant glittery green hats. (Say that 5 times fast)

April Fool’s Day – No candy here. Although, I would watch your food if I were you.

Easter – Chocolate eggs and bunnies are what the kids will adore.

Memorial Day – No candy here. A solemn holiday in remembrance of the brave and courageous.

July 4th – Fireworks, streamers, and a bucket load of ice. (Wait, this sounds familiar.)

Labor Day – Don’t wear white? Or was it only on the Monday after? Oh, who knows. (Read¬†the official explanation here.)

Columbus Day – No school is all we care about.

Halloween – Candy galore. Watch out for the Laffy Taffy, please.

Thanksgiving – Not really much candy here, but plenty of extra-sweet cranberry sauce.

Christmas – Gingerbread houses, frosting, and candy canes.


That’s only 4 out of 12! Not bad, actually. Besides, a little candy never hurts. (On the topic of ice breaking at gatherings, poet Ogden Nash writes, Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.)


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