Ah, Facebook. The website where all your friends chat, post pictures of their wonderful days, and of course, update their statuses.
Typical status updates are “Had fun at the BBQ with *insert BFF’s name here*” and “Going skiing tomorrow!”
But amidst these include the atypical status updates
…the ones that make you cringe…the ones that are extremely annoying…the ones that should be sent to lamebook.com (which, by the way, is a real website)…the ones that just are plain atypical.
Here’s a top 10 list of my personal favorite status updates as well as atypical Wall Posts, Messages, and Comments (with tacit remarks added by yours truly):
- “Ugh. Got a 97 on the Spanish test. Goodbye 99 in the class. :(” – (Whatever will you do, especially since it’s only the beginning of the semester?)
- Me: I heard you did well on the ACT! Congrats!
Guy Who Scored 33: Yes I did do pretty well actually.
-(You are very welcome.)
- “Looking back on 2010, it was when I fell in love with an awesome liar, when I had my heart broken over a cheater and useless guy, when I went to homecoming with such a gentleman, when I realized…” (You realize your “ex” is still on your friend’s list and can see this, or was that supposed to be the point?)
- Girl 1: I could tell *insert name here* today was making you pissed off! LOL your expression was funny but dont worry I wasnt mad at you!
Girl 2: I KNOW!!11!!1 *insert name here* is really annoying I cannot stand her… (Again, you do realize the person you’re talking about can view this, seeing as how it’s on the Wall for everyone to see?)
- “I’m applying to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Duke, MIT, and Brown. GA Tech as backup.” (Yes, of course you had to post this on your wall for everyone to see…yes, I understand perfectly.)
- “This semester I resolve to score the following: 107 in AP Lang, 106 in Precalculus, 100 in Band, 109 in AP Physics, 101 in AP US, and 99 in Spanish. >_<” –(…isn’t there a journal/agenda where you can write this instead?)
- Boy 1: Listening to music + quite day = RELAXING
Boy 2: quiet*
Boy 1: ya opps lol
Boy 2: oops*
Boy 1: dam when did u become such a *insert Boy 3’s name* (Boy 3 is very strict on grammar) not that its a bad thing lol
Boy 2: idk im just sick of people not being able to spell simple words
Boy 1: OCD man lol
Boy 2: No its not OCD
Boy 3: You know, to be honest, when I first saw this status a few hours ago, I was about to correct you. 😛 But I was too lazy.
– (No comment…except I laughed out loud.)
- The Cheating Hypocrite Posting on the Wall of his Patient Buddy:
9/20/2009: Wow it took you 3 hours? It only took me an hour to do the stupid lab worksheet what do you NOT get?
9/24/2009: Did you finish the powerpoint? And add the graphs? And make sure you put the observation table on the bottom.
9/30/2009: Hey could you send me a copy of your essay?
9/30/2009: Thanks it looks straightforward, oh and don’t forget to finish the report, I have a bad feeling we’re presenting tomorrow
10/05/2009: Did you finish the powerpoint?
10/09/2009: Did you finish the worksheet? Is that other girl going to email the answers or not, how can you be sure..
(Sigh. Well, lazy students never prosper…)
- Insert a very long argument between a boy and a girl that ranges from “U got fired at subway ugly loser” to “stop writing me poems I dont luv u that way lololol” to “Truth is, youre very cool, truth is I think you dont stand up for yourself, truth is I like you.” (Teenagers.)
- “My brother and I out-talked a Jehovah’s Witness today! Add THAT to my bucket list!” (I don’t go around bashing other peoples’ religions…especially ones that are essentially the same under the whole Christian denomination)
Well. That’s all for now.